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Ceremonies of Remembrance
We human beings are creatures of ceremony and ritual. We exercise these routines every day; at work, during worship, at play, in love, and in grief. Here are a few suggestions that may help in establishing new ceremonies and rituals that can help in the healing of your grief. This should be designed for comfort and supportive measures, so should be meaningful to the person or people involved.
A CANDLE
Select a candle and dedicate it to the deceased. On special occasions such as holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, etc., when the deceased is going to be especially missed,
light the candle. You may want to say a short prayer as you light it. Allow it to burn throughout the day as a reminder of the person who died. When you extinguish it, you might want to offer another prayer.
PLANT A TREE
Plant a tree or a shrub in memory of the one who died. You may want to invite close friends and family members to share the ceremony. Light refreshments and a time of sharing memories about the loved one might follow. This could be on the anniversary of the death or another significant anniversary.
CREATE A SHADOWBOX
As a family project, make a shadowbox to create a small memorial. Allow each family member to select one or two items to be placed in the box. You may wish to engrave a small plaque with the name, date of birth, and date of death to attach to the shadowbox.
SALUTE AT MEALTIMES
At mealtimes, offer a salute to the deceased. You may want to say, "I still love you; I have not forgotten."
WRITE LETTERS
Write a personal letter to the deceased. Say everything that you would say in person; this includes both anger and joy. Don't worry about grammar. Let your heart write the letter. At an appropriate time, when you feel the time is right, burn the letter and allow the smoke to carry the message. A nice touch is to add a bit of incense or use a scented candle.
WEAR A PHYSICAL REMINDER
Wear your loved one's favorite color in memory. Wear a special ring, scarf, necklace, or clothing that would help you to feel a sense of closeness.
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